Detroit Scavenger Hunt

My sister is getting married and we are all thrilled.  Along with a wedding comes tons of auxiliary parties.  There are showers and bachelorette parties and pampering events.  This last weekend we did the bachelorette party and a scavenger hunt in Detroit was requested.  I have never been on a professionally organized scavenger hunt, but TV tells me there is a lot of human interaction involved.  Like maybe you would take a picture of yourself kissing a bald man.  Or you would have to just wander the city looking for an old timey spinning wheel.  That might work some places, but since we would be in Detroit, I wanted to avoid talking to strangers and aimlessly wandering the city.  I am really pleased with how the scavenger turned out.  I will put the map, clues, and activities in this blog, and maybe I will put the answers in the comments or in another blog.  That way, if you want to lead your own scavenger hunt, you can OR if you want to join me in recreating the fun with another group, we can do that too and there won't be a bunch of spoilers.  To be completely truthful, nobody had any problem figuring out the clues.

Double click on the map to get a better look at all the locations.

Instructions: Below are clues to interesting sites around the city of Detroit.  As we walk around the city, the first person to figure out the clue for that area gets a point.  (Since this was a bachelorette party, we used penis drink stirrers as points.  That way we didn't have to keep track on paper.  Whoever had the most penises won.)   Once we figure out what we are looking for, we will NEED to take a mob selfie with it (mobfie) to document that we are having the time of our LIVES!  If you have a really big group like we did, it is easier to have the person who figured out the clue take the picture.  That way there are several pictures and no one is left out of all of them.  As we hunt about for the specific locations, there are also a few bonus finds and some bonus tasks that can also earn you points.   We will total up the points at dinner and see who deserves a prize.

We started at the Wheelhouse Detroit.  Thinking back, it probably would have been smarter to rent bikes for our adventures, but it still worked out well with just getting ice cream there and scavenging around on foot.

1.  Where "You spin me right round, baby, Right round like a record, baby, Right round round round" meets "Under the sea, Darling it's better, Down where it's wetter, Take it from me"


2.  "You're a grand old flag you’re a high flying flag in forever in peace may you wave"  oh wait, no, "Oh Canada…" 


3.  "There's a picture opposite me, Of my primitive ancestry, Which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free, Though I respect that a lot, I'd be fired if that were my job, After killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts, Bluebird of friendliness, Like guardian angels its always near "

BONUS POINT:  Anyone willing to run through the fountains gets a point!  Double points if you are wearing white pants and a brightly colored thong.
 
4.  "get a room" When Amy and Jerod want a romantic getaway they want the tallest hotel in the western hemisphere.


5.  "I like to move it move it, I like to move it move it"  A great way to get around the city, if all you want to do is go around and around. 


6.  I have spirit yes I do, I have spirit how bout you? 


7.  It's old, It's famous, and it sells hot dogs.  Hint hint, Amy prefers her hot dogs to be very patriotic. 

BONUS POINT:  Anyone willing to taste a classic Detroit coney dog complete with chili, mustard and onions gets a point.  Double points if you get a coneys from both coney islands and taste test the two. 

BONUS POINT:  Anyone willing to be recorded eating the coney dog while saying "I like to put wieners in my mouth" gets a point.


8.  You gotta know when to hold um, know when to fold um, know when to walk away, know when to run.  You never count your money, when you're sitting at the table.  There will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done. 


9.  Where Hanging Tough meets Good Vibrations. 

BONUS POINT: Anyone willing to make a video of singing or dancing to a New Kids on the Block  or Marky  Mark and the Funky Bunch song gets a point.  Negative point if anyone says they don't know who NKOTB or Marky Mark is.

BONUS:


10.  Amy knows that the only thing better than jungle rules volleyball is beach volleyball.


11.  Row row row your boat, gently down the stream.  Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, life is but a dream. 


12.  Is it a bus or is it a train?  The city may never know. 


13.  We all know Amy is an amazing artist.  Some artists use the city itself as a canvas.


14.  "Say nice things about Detroit"  "Detroit vs. Everyone" There are tons of fun sayings about Detroit.  See if you can spot one. 

To Waterslide or Not to Waterslide?

I love waterparks…Well at least I used to. 

I am not sure if I really love them for myself anymore.  I love to go to them and take the kids and watch them have fun, but for the last ten years I have either been pregnant or taking care of little kids.  We have been to lots of water parks, but I have spent lots of time in the kiddie pools making sure little children didn’t drown.

Friday, I am chaperoning Charles on a field trip to a water park.  He is nine years old and I am not even sure I am supposed to follow them around the whole time.  This might be the sort of thing where they run around on their own and they just check in with me in between adventures.  This means that I might be wandering around a water park by myself.  I can go on whatever slides I want.  I will be able to nab a tube and go to the deepest part of the wave pool.  I will be able to float around the lazy river lazily, instead of trying to contain someone trying to wiggle away. 

The big question is, what will I WANT to do?  Am I just going to sit on a lounge chair and read a book?  Will I fear the big slides now?  I think I will try the big slides no matter what.  I need to make sure I still enjoy them.  I must keep up my reputation as fun mom.  It isn’t enough to just go, I will need to participate in the fun.

I do need to be careful that I don’t repeat the happenings of the last time I went to a water park for myself.  It might not have been the very last time, but it was close.  I had recently moved into my own apartment for the first time.  I was very excited to be living in Waterford because the one thing I knew about Waterford was that they had a waterpark.  I kind of figured that was what Waterford was named after.  At that time in my life, I had a weird habit of buying skimpy bikinis on clearance.  I almost never wore these bikinis, but they were always so pretty at the store that I had to buy them when they only cost five bucks.  

So, since I lived in the city of the water park AND I had a pile of beautiful bikinis, I decided to invite everyone to go to the waterpark with me where I would finally wear one of my beautiful bikinis.  All was well until the inevitable happened.  Whenever you combine water slides and bikinis you know what is going to happen.  There is going to be a wardrobe malfunction at some point.  I was aware that this was a possibility and I was constantly doing boob checks.  The one time I didn’t, was the one time that I was flashing the whole entry pool including my sister’s boyfriend at the time.  It was possibly the most embarrassing moment of my entire life.  You would think that I would notice that I had a boob hanging out, but I didn’t.  I walked almost the entire length of the landing pool before I realized what had happened and put my private part away.

After the waterpark, we all returned to my apartment where we left everyone’s cars.  I never thought that people would go INTO my apartment, but of course everyone wanted to go in and use the bathroom before they drove home.  This exposed another weird habit that I had at the time.  I had a weird habit of every morning leaving my underwear on the floor as I got into the shower.  That is one of the joys of living alone.  You can just leave your clothes where they drop until laundry day.  My guests were treated to quite a collection of undies.  That exposure was not as embarrassing as the first one of the day, but it was like sprinkles on an embarrassment cupcake.

On this trip to the waterpark, I am sure I will embarrass myself and my son, but it WILL NOT be in the same way.  I will wear a modest mom bathing suit and I will probably wear swim shorts over it just to be safe.  I will probably add my sun hat just to be sure I embarrass my son.  Maybe I should throw in a few mom jokes too for good measure.  I think a lot of singing and dancing around the pool will also be in order.  I need to work on my Moana songs since those will be most appropriate.

Do you still love waterparks?  Are you a waterslide person even in your old age?  Do you have any good mom jokes I can use?  Are you going to share your wardrobe malfunction stories or waterpark stories so I don’t feel all alone in my embarrassment?

Business Sports

I encourage my children to participate in sports whenever the opportunity arises.  I don’t have them in hockey lessons because I think they will someday be in the NHL or because I am hoping for a college scholarship.  I have them do it because I want them to be a little more athletic than I am.  If someone wants to start a pick-up game of some sport, I would like them to be able to join in without all kind of fear of not knowing the rules or not having any athleticism.

They need all the help they can get, because they come from a long line of brains over brawn.  You will be shocked to know, that I am not very athletic.  If they are lucky, they will get their father’s athletic build, but even at 6’3” the height of his athletic endeavors was 7^th grade football and adult beer league hockey.

In general, I know that I will very seldom win any sort of game or sport, but many of them I can have fun and participate in.  It has taken me a lifetime to acquire these skills, but if someone asks me to tag along on the following activities, I am in.

• Volleyball
• Badminton
• Ping pong
• Bowling
• Frisbee
• Pool

I was thinking of these the other day because most of these these are the types of activities I have experienced as part of team building activities at the office.  I will never win at one of these activities, but I can at least have fun, hold my own, and participate.  Unfortunately, it is currently golf season.  No one has asked me to golf, but there are some groups of coworkers that have gone out golfing together.  I think that is a great way to bond and network.  Those sorts of relationships are how you get to be a big wig.  But, alas, that will never happen for me. 

I think if I ever went golfing with big wigs I would get demoted.  I can’t even hit the ball off the tee.  How many times would they let me try before they got tired of waiting for me?  I would have to volunteer to drive the cart, and then they would double hate me because driving the cart is the best part.

I was telling this to one of the fellas, and he suggested that not knowing is ok, because that allows the big wig to give you golfing tips and feel like a really good golfer.  I don’t think that is the way it works for women.  Every movie or tv show I have seen with women learning to golf involves a man coming over and putting his arms around her to help her with her grip.  I told this to the fella and he assured me that is not how it works when men go golfing together.  Sure, it isn’t.  I don’t blame them.  That is a HILARIOUS move.  In fact, if I ever play pool with anyone, I can’t help but cuddle up behind everyone and try to help them with their shot. 

In conclusion, a career tip for me is to not try to team build at work by either playing golf or playing pool.  Each of these would lead to inappropriate cuddling.  Therefore, I will stay with my amazing skills at volleyball and ping pong.  Maybe someday I will even join the ping pong league at the office.  There is very little cuddling in ping pong.

Ever Vigilant of People Falling in Love With Me.

I am new to binge watching shows.  We just got Netflix streaming to watch the Bill Murray Christmas Special (totally worth it) and when I found I could watch shows on my phone while I am doing the dishes and the kids are watching boring things on the TV, I was hooked.


I have been binge watching The Office and Gilmore Girls.  I watch it when I do the laundry, or go on the treadmill, or do the dishes, or drive to work.  (just kidding, I don't watch and drive, although that would be awesome)  I have learned that the trouble with binge watching shows, is that you get sucked into them and then you kind of feel like you are in that world.  Does this happen for everyone?  It makes me think I better be careful before I binge watch the Sopranos or Orange is the new black.  Anyway, this is not a problem when I watch The Office, because that world is very similar to my world.  I pick a person who is me, Jim, and then that world and my world are very similar.  We are both hilarious and we both work in an office with crazy people.

Gilmore Girls is causing me a bigger problem.  Loralai and Rory are very similar, so I have decided that I am a combo of the two.  Then, the plots of the shows are a mix of every man they meet falling in love with them and not getting along with their parents/grandparents.  I saw my parents this weekend and as much as I tried to get them to judge my life choices of 16 years ago, they were delightful and did no such thing.  They didn't try to manipulate me or get mad for arbitrary reasons.  They also get most of my jokes.  So obviously that part didn't match up.  This must mean that the part about every man I meet being in love with me is extra true.  I must be constantly vigilant that everyone I meet has fallen in love with me because of my quirky personality, my witty banter, and my love of junk food.  I can't read a book in front of anyone or listen to cool music because then they will extra fall in love with me.  It is fine to go through life with everyone being in love with me.  Everyone knows that Jess is the best boyfriend on Gilmore Girls and he shares many of his too smart, antisocial, bad boy characteristic with my husband, so that is a good fit.  The part that I have to be vigilant about is my admirers trying to lock eyes with me and then pulling me into passionate kisses.  This has not happened to me yet, but I watched a lot of Gilmore Girls this weekend and it happened to them a ton.  SO, I better be prepared. 


What do you think the best plan is to fend off all these passionate embraces?

No, I am not pregnant, thanks for asking...

...said no woman ever.


I will admit it, I have a body type that makes me look a little pregnant.  It has gotten worse in my old age and after the babies stretched out all my guts.  I always think that I have made peace with it, until someone gives me the up and down look and then assumes I am pregnant and asks me something about it.  I thought we had decided as a society that this is very rude.  I know that the people who do this do not intend to offend me, but we all know they are saying I am fat.  Once I tell them I am not pregnant, they get awkward.  People feel bad that they have insulted me.  They try to apologize and then I feel bad for them.  I think that if you accidentally insult someone in this way, you should add another insult and then walk away.  That way, you continue to be the bad guy and I only have to feel bad because you insulted me, not because you feel bad.  It might go like this:
      Rude Person (after up and down look):  oh, when is your due date?
      Me:  In the past, I already had three babies.
      Rude Person:  Good, because you have a really ugly face and you wouldn't want to pass that on to more children.  (mic drop and walk away)


If I were to take this another level higher, I could think of all the ways that the person is really paying me a compliment.  Here are some ways that I have come up with, feel free to add some yourself.

• The person assumes that I am young enough to get pregnant.  Perhaps I should respond with, "I do look young, don't I!  Thanks for noticing."
• The person notices that my children are so adorable and well behaved that I would obviously want as many as possible.  Perhaps I should respond with, "My current children are a delight, aren't they!"
• Similar to the previous point, the person realizes that my mothering skills are at rockstar levels and they just assume that I would want as many children as possible to experience my awesome mothering. Perhaps I should respond with, "I will just start parenting your children if you want."
• The person notices that my marriage is delightful (and/or how attractive my husband is) and assumes that I am having a lot of marital relations.  Perhaps I should respond with, "Please stop picturing me and my husband naked."
• The person notices how hot and social I am and assumes I am having a lot of extramarital adult relations.  Perhaps I should respond with just a few gyrating hip thrusts in their general direction.

Can you think of any others?  Compliment away!

A Florida Fashion Blog

I just got back from a lovely Florida vacation. 

Disclaimer:  I did not visit any of my friends or family in Florida because I am disorganized and lazy.

My mom went to Florida in early January.  She had a great time there with her dad and some of her sisters.  While she was there, she purchased several new shirts and a hoody to help her look like a local instead of a tourist.  When my mom came home she REALLY wanted to lend me her Florida clothes so that I could look like a local also.

On one hand, no one wants to dress like her mom.  It doesn’t matter how stylish my mom is, I will always feel that I am young and hip and couldn’t possibly wear the same clothes as my mom. 

On the other hand, I saw the shirts and the hoody and most of them were totally my style.  They were wildly patterned, crazily colored, and generally flowy.  So, either my mom’s fashion is getting hipper, or mine is getting …well let’s not think about that. 

I took the clothes, but I am not sure that native Floridians are known for wearing loud colorful clothes.  It seems to me that it might be a thing that tourists do when they visit Florida.  When I got to Florida I realized the shirts were long sleeved, so I didn’t even wear them.  When I am in Florida, I am wearing short or no sleeves!  I don’t care what the temperature is!  I don’t need no stinkin bleepity bleep long sleeves.  I can wear them when I am in Michigan.  My pits need to breath.  This is the same reason I didn’t take many socks to Florida.  I am not wearing any stinkin bleepity bleep bleep socks in Florida. 

It doesn’t matter what native Floridians wear, or what other humans wear, because I did not dress anything like them while I was in Florida.  I didn’t mean to look like a lunatic in Florida, but I think I had a faulty packing technique.  I went through all my summer clothes and picked out all my favorite shorts.  My favorite shorts are all colorful with cool designs like flowers, palm trees, or pink flamingos on them.  Then I went through all my summer clothes and picked out all my favorite shirts.  My favorite summer shirts are brightly decorated in paisleys, flowers, and swirls.  When I got to Florida, I combined the patterned shorts with the uncoordinated patterned shirts.  To really bring the look together, I added flowered sunglasses and a big pink sunhat so I wouldn’t get sunburned.  Once it all came together, it looked totally Catherine, but very little like anything that “locals” anywhere would wear.  It could have been worse.  What if the patterns on my shorts and the patterns on my shirts matched like pajamas for 4 year olds.  That would have been much much worse.  I need to aim for coordinating, not matching.

Tell me about your coordinated outfit vacation packing techniques…please?

Pusiess and caslss

This is a picture that Dess's friend drew 

for her to illustrate the following 

story that Dess (3 years old) told me in the car.

I enjoy the creative spelling.

Once upon a time there was a Princess Sally who lived in a castle.  There was a scary dragon, but the prince took his blood out of him.  Princess Sally did not fight, because she was a good hider.  Princess Sally had a mom, dad, little brother, and little sister, but they are not in the picture because they were killed by a inja (ninja).  Princess Sally had a pet cat and the prince had a pet dog, but they are not in the picture because a wolf ate their bodies.

With plot elements like ninjas, dead families, and dragons, I think that Dess might have a future writing Disney cartoons.