I will talk to you about books, but don't ask me to join your book club

PLEASE don't make me join a book club.

I recently finished reading The Help.  In the back of the book, there were 10 questions or so that you might want to discuss in your book club.  I found them offensive.  I wish I had the book with me so I could post them, but generally, they insulted my intelligence while being boring at the same time.  These questions reminded me that I don't want to join a book club.

Once upon a time, far far away, I joined a book club.  It was with the ladies at work and we were reading Madame Bovary.  WHAT A MISTAKE.  Problem 1:  Madame Bovary is a terrible book.  It is boring and whiny.  I couldn't finish it.  It is supposed to be about infidelity or something, but I couldn't get that far, the whining was too much.  Problem 2:  When people talk about literature, they want to talk about how it was written and character development and what the writer was trying to say.  BOOOOOOORING.  When I read a book, I want to get caught up in the story.  I want to forget that I am reading and I just want to explore the new world I have joined.  If I even notice the writing style, I can't finish the book.  I only want to notice the pictures in my head.

Most of the books I have read lately, have been turned into movies.  For most of them, I saw the movie after reading the book.  I think this isn't working for me, I might have to switch the order of my movie viewing. 

If I were leading a discussion about the books I have read, I would like to also bring the movies into the discussion.  Here are the questions we would discuss:

1. In the hunger games, am I supposed to be on a team like Twilight?  Team Peeta or team Gale?  My team alliance changed with each book.
2. Don't you think Peeta in the movie should have been bigger?  I am thinking someone that looks more like the oldest kid on Home Improvement.
3. What did the wives from "The Help" do all day?  They didn't work and they had employees to take care of the house and the children.  Wheren't they bored?  No wonder they were catty gossips.
4. In the movie, I thought the actresses playing the two main maids would have been switched.  What do you think?
5. Do not read "The Help" while staying at a hotel.  You will suddenly feel guilty for having housekeeping come in to tidy your room.  Agree or Disagree?
6. Walt Disney did an awesome job of giving a plot to Pollyanna.  Agree or Disagree?

Do you have any other good discussion questions?