I don't want to go back to the college years.

Friday evening the hubby and I went out.  We went to dinner and to the Michigan Theater to see a comedian.  Because of the timing and location of our adventures, this put us right in the middle of campus on a Friday evening.  We were oddly involved in Friday night college social life.  We weren't REALLY involved (no one asked us into the frat party), but it was like we were right on the fringe looking in.  I was a nerd and I went to a small commuter school for college, so I never had the college experience that movies like animal house are made of.  The kids we saw were trying to have the movie college experience.

First, we had to take a shortcut through the fraternity sorority district.  There were oodles of girls walking around.  All the girls were wearing dresses that were generally the same style and cut.  They were all EXACTLY the same length (slightly above mid thigh), but in different prints.  They were all wearing their hair the same way and they were all wearing high heel shoes.  I can only assume they were all going to some sort of sorority or fraternity event.  There was one girl who was wearing the same style dress, but it was slightly longer.  Right BELOW mid thigh.  I think she is not getting into the sorority.  I imagine they will yell at her that they can't let her in if they can't even see her lady parts.  What is she trying to hide...manly parts?

Next we went to dinner at the five guys on campus.  I wanted to go mongo, but we didn't have enough time.  As a side note, the five guys on campus is filthy.  The patrons seem to confuse it for that steak place that used to let you throw peanut shells on the ground but then they went out of business.  I actually saw a guy pushing all his peanut shells onto the floor.  Anyway, I noticed that all the college girls at five guys had put a lot of effort into their casual hanging out appearance, but many of them looked kind of worse after all that effort.  It made me realize that they don't make movies like Old School, Animal House, Back to School, or PCU about women, because college is not the highlight of their whole life.  I did really enjoy college, but I don't want to go back and do it again, even if it was more of the movie version of college.  This made me think that they should make a female version of Old School.  I have it all figured out.

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Other than those few changes, just use the exact same script but replace fraternity with sorority.  I can see the box office gold now.  Movie making friends, feel free to put this idea into action.  I don't need any compensation, I just want to see the movie.

Eventually we did get to the theater.  That is when I realized that maybe I am just too old to go out.  I was a little grumpy because other people were sitting a little too close to me.  Then I got a little grumpier because people were laughing too loud and I couldn't hear all the jokes.  When I listen to comedy through Pandora in my car I never have that problem.  The last straw was the guy next to me chewing chaw.  I don't know much about chaw, but I saw him scoop a bunch of brown stuff out of a tin with his finger.  He put it in his mouth.  I started gagging.  It smelled super strongly of peppermint as if I was chawing it myself.  Then, for the rest of the performance he slowly spit it into a cup.  How does one get started on such a habit.  Gross.  Is it a totally different habit than smoking?  Does one save it for a time when you are inside and not allowed to smoke?  Do you pick it up to try to quit smoking?  I wish he would have been smoking, that would have been much less gross.

Man o man I am happy to be old.