None of your beeeeeeswax!!

When did it get rude to tell people that something was none of their business?  When I was a kid, it seems like I said this all the time.  I said it so often that I had an alternate phrase, "None of your beeswax," that I would use if I was tired of using the original phrase.


Recently, a casual acquaintance came up to me and asked me if I was increasing the size of my family.  It is possible that she was asking if we were in the market for a puppy, or about to open our home to foster children, but I am pretty sure she was saying that I looked fat and was wondering if I was pregnant.  I just answered, "no."  I am a little fat.  I know this.  Some days I work on doing something about it, some days I eat donuts.  It is something that I am not too worried about, but the pregnancy question is a great way for people to point it out.  For the record, this is ALWAYS rude.  In fact, a friend of mine spotted another friend of mine at the office.  Friend 1 is 99% sure that  friend 2 is pregnant.  If friend 2 is pregnant, I couldn't be happier or more excited, but I don't think I can send an email to her to congratulate her because even if she is pregnant, that would suggest that she looks fat enough to be pregnant and that would be rude.  I will wait until she tells me, makes it facebook official, or I see a baby. 


After the first rude question, the casual acquaintance asked how old the baby is and whether or not we were planning to stop at three children.  Well, just so everyone knows, the baby is one year old and yes, I currently plan on only having three children, but you can't ask someone that question, especially if they currently have a one year old.  Right now I am just relieved to occasionally get a full night sleep.  Maybe when I am better rested I will want to have ten more kids.  Generally, the answer to this question should have been, "None of your beeswax!"  Why does she need to know my family plan?  Why did I feel the need to tell her?  What if this was a hurtful question?  This is the type of thing that could be very sensitive to people.  What if I change my mind?  Do I have to call her up and let her know that the plan has changed?


Anyway, as much as I was annoyed by this woman, I am more annoyed at myself.  She was probably just trying to make conversation.  She doesn't know me that well, and when I am running after three adorable children, that is the most obvious topic to discuss.  I am sure I have asked questions that are too intrusive.  Sometimes it is because I am not being thoughtful.  Often it is because it seems like an innocent question to me, but is something that causes a lot of struggle for the other person.  Any question about dating, or a job, or a house, or a car, or a mutual friend could be sensitive in the wrong situation.  If all those topics are off limits, what in the world is left to talk about.  I can't just talk about the weather and TV all the time.  Even then, what if a snow storm killed your grandma or what if you almost got your big break on my new favorite TV show?  That woman was not the problem, my answer was the problem.  I think the solution should be that it is totally ok to tell someone that topics are none of their business.  I think I will try to say it nicely, and if they continue to pry, I will break out "none of your beeeeeeswax!"  I think that this will cause people to assume a lot of stuff about me.  It might also make me seem more mysterious.  But I think I might like that better than telling people private details of my life. 


How do you think this will work out?  Do you think I will start losing a lot of casual acquaintances?