I don't get out much

OK, I do get out of the house a lot, but I rarely get out to try interesting new adventures. I might declare a midyear resolution to try out more new stuff and adventures.

The first new adventure was the Roller Derby.

I would like to say that I always wanted to attend a Roller Derby my whole life. What is there not to love? A sport with women in crazy outfits on Roller Skates definitely sounds like something I was born to do. The truth is, I never even knew what the Roller Derby was until the last few years. My friend Nikki invited me to attend the Roller Derby with her. She got us tickets to see the Detroit Derby Girls (click here ). I needed to do some research, so Iwatched the movie "Whip It". It was filmed in Michigan, so I felt it would give an accurate portrayal of what I was in for. It made me a little nervous that Punk Rock Guys would fall in love with me and also made me worried about what my outfit would be.

I was going to go with a totally punk rock look for the roller derby, but I reigned it in a bit because my friend Cleo told me I would look like a fool. Maybe I would have. I decided to just look like a chubby Teenager and put on some extra eyeliner.

The Roller Derby was on Saturday and it is located at the Masonic Temple in Downtown Detroit. Saturday night I headed to my friend Nikki's house to make her drive. I avoid driving in Detroit as much as possible. I can't speak for all people from "up north" but to me, everything south of Clarkston is Detroit and I get lost every single time I drive there.

The first adventure of the evening was that Nikki decided to stop at an ATM in Detroit. WHAT? This was a bad idea. We drove all over the ghetto until she finally found a party store with an ATM. I refused to go in with her. She left me in the car and I regretted it when the homeless man who looked like the "Pants on the Ground" guy from American Idol walked toward me. I am not really afraid of homeless people, but I am afraid of Detroit, so I was a little uneasy. Luckily, Nikki returned and we took off. As I looked back I realized the homeless man was wearing awesome jeans with very colorful embroidery all over them.

We finally got to the Masonic Temple and it is a beautiful place. I had never been there, but I thought it was a theater. It is a theater, but it also has a lot of other things going on. The Roller Derby was on the third floor in a very strange room. I couldn't figure out if it used to be a ballroom or a gymnasium. It was too nice to be a gym, but not nice enough to be a ballroom.

In the movie Whip It, the track is banked, there are railings, and there are bleachers. None of that was true for this Roller Derby. It was still really fun to watch, but it was hard to see. Next time we attend, we will get there just as the doors open so we can get the suicide seats. The suicide seats are on the floor right next to the track. You can see everything from there.

Overall, it was a good game and a good time. Detroit beat Pittsburgh 180ish to 150ish. The people watching was amazing (although, it was suburb city in there). Very few punk rock boys fell in love with me and my look fit in just fine. As an extra good note, the snacks and souvenirs were very reasonably priced.

I do have a suggestion for them. I think they should play somewhere with bleachers. It is super cool that they play in Detroit in an awesome old building, but probably two thirds of the people had trouble seeing the bout. I am not sure where they could go to have the same street cred but add bleachers, but it is worth looking into.

Other adventures I might try:

• Zoos

• The library

• Adult roller skating

• Mommy/child events/locations

• Biking

• Cougar Dance Clubs

I have also made a mid year resolution to see my life in terms of Ven diagrams and Flowcharts more often. I believe the Ven Diagram below helps illustrate my social life. I have also included my friend Nikki's social life since it was her idea to go to the Roller derby.

Can you think of any other adventures I should try? Do you have any suggestions for the adventures I already have on my list? Do you want to join us next time we go to the Roller Derby?

Deep in the Heart of Texas

I know two people from Texas and both of them are amazing and super nice.

That said, the media has taught me differently. The media has shown me that all the women in Texas have gigantic hair. They have also taught me that every parent in Texas pushes their child into either Football, Cheerleading, or Beauty Pageants. The children are not just pushed to participate, but to WIN. I would like to officially thank my parents for not pushing me into any of these things.

I think I got a free pass on Football because I am a girl. It is a good thing I got that pass, because I would have been terrible at Football. When I was a Junior in High School I played in the Porker Bowl (the one girl football game) and I was terrible. I also still don't understand the rules despite being married for 5 years to the world's biggest Football Fan.

I think I would have also had trouble with the Cheerleading. Sure, I am loud. That would have helped. I am also good at clapping and shaking pom poms. However, I am terrible at any sort of gymnastics. I took 3 seasons of gymnastics lessons as a kid. The first one wasn't so bad because I was young and I was just the worst one in a group of kids my own age. I would have to spend time in the corner practicing my cartwheels while the other kids got to do other things. I was 13 when I took the other classes. That isn't so bad except that I was still in beginners 1 and most of the other kids were 5-8 years old and much better at gymnastics than I was.

The fact that I was a chubby homely kid would have sealed my fate in texas. I would have looked horendous in a beauty pageant. But I do think I would have been good at the fake smile and pretty feet. I think I could have mastered the little routines and dances. I probably would have enjoyed the make up and stuff. But in the end, they are looking for the prettiest little girl and that wouldn't have been me.

I am in favor of big hair, but the nice thing about living in the North is that my naturally biggish hair is big in comparison to most. If I lived in Texas I would have to put in a lot more work to compete in the big hair department.

How would you fare in Texas? Are you from Texas? Is it really like they depict it on TV? Are there other places that work like this?