Deep in the Heart of Texas

I know two people from Texas and both of them are amazing and super nice.

That said, the media has taught me differently. The media has shown me that all the women in Texas have gigantic hair. They have also taught me that every parent in Texas pushes their child into either Football, Cheerleading, or Beauty Pageants. The children are not just pushed to participate, but to WIN. I would like to officially thank my parents for not pushing me into any of these things.

I think I got a free pass on Football because I am a girl. It is a good thing I got that pass, because I would have been terrible at Football. When I was a Junior in High School I played in the Porker Bowl (the one girl football game) and I was terrible. I also still don't understand the rules despite being married for 5 years to the world's biggest Football Fan.

I think I would have also had trouble with the Cheerleading. Sure, I am loud. That would have helped. I am also good at clapping and shaking pom poms. However, I am terrible at any sort of gymnastics. I took 3 seasons of gymnastics lessons as a kid. The first one wasn't so bad because I was young and I was just the worst one in a group of kids my own age. I would have to spend time in the corner practicing my cartwheels while the other kids got to do other things. I was 13 when I took the other classes. That isn't so bad except that I was still in beginners 1 and most of the other kids were 5-8 years old and much better at gymnastics than I was.

The fact that I was a chubby homely kid would have sealed my fate in texas. I would have looked horendous in a beauty pageant. But I do think I would have been good at the fake smile and pretty feet. I think I could have mastered the little routines and dances. I probably would have enjoyed the make up and stuff. But in the end, they are looking for the prettiest little girl and that wouldn't have been me.

I am in favor of big hair, but the nice thing about living in the North is that my naturally biggish hair is big in comparison to most. If I lived in Texas I would have to put in a lot more work to compete in the big hair department.

How would you fare in Texas? Are you from Texas? Is it really like they depict it on TV? Are there other places that work like this?