The benefits of Potluck Mode

When I was a kid, it seems we went to a church potluck at least once a week. On one hand it was nice to get out of the house and see our friends, but on the other hand I was a very picky eater and I hated potluck food (I am still a picky eater, but somehow I love potluck food now). When I was a teen, the potlucks had another drawback, my mom. My mom would be a perfectly normal person when we were in the car, but as soon as she entered the potluck, she turned into a super hyper social butterfly that would flitter from person to person. She would make small talk with everyone and sometimes it didn't even make sense. I am sure she always did this, but it didn't bother me until I was a teenager and everything my mom did embarrassed me. We called this transformation "Potluck Mode".

As I got older, I realized that there was no reason to be embarrassed. It was hard, but I realized that my mom is her own person and if she fluttered around making embarrassing small talk, it was no reflection on me.

There were a few instances, when I was even older, that my sisters accused me of being in Potluck Mode. Usually it was when we were out with a large group and I was being especially the life of the party. This accusation would enrage me. Of course I was not in Potluck Mode. They wouldn't recognize Potluck Mode if it bit them in their buttocks. They were obviously just jealous of my popularity.

Now that I am super old, I recognize that I have Potluck Mode and I embrace it. Potluck Mode is the mode you go into when you have to socialize with people you don't know very well, but you don't want them to think you are unfriendly. Say you have a graduation open house, bridal shower, wedding, or baby shower, you are not going to be best friends with everyone that attends. However, you do want everyone that attends to feel welcome and to know that you appreciated their attendance. You don't want to be the dullsville guest of honor that opens a gift and can barely mumble thank you. You want to be the one that loudly exclaims how cute, lovely, pretty, useful or generous each gift is.

I am generally a shy person and it is hard to talk to people I don't know that well. Potluck mode helps me to get through it and make people feel welcome and included. Just because I am uncomfortable does not mean they have to be uncomfortable.

I know people that don't have Potluck Mode. They try to get out of parties in their honor. They get quiet and shrink away from big crowds. Even people that are usually funny and outgoing, sometimes panic in a crowd. When I hear these stories I think back to my mom's Potluck Mode and I am thankful that I inherited it from her.

Do you have your own version of Potluck Mode?