Catherine Hits Chicago

Last weekend I went to Chicago to see Hamilton, but it was really much much more than that.

When I go to Chicago it is always an amazing time because Jeff and Jeffrey live there and they are really the most amazing hosts.  They have all the coolest adventures planned.  I am sure for them, it is just regular life, but for me it is full of amazing adventures that I always enjoy.  It makes me want to step up my adventure game in South East Michigan so that I can show others a good time when they are in town.  I often feel bad for other people who are going to Chicago if they don’t know Jeff and Jeffrey because I know they are not going to have the peak experience.

The biggest adventure for me was the trip to a trendy neighborhood.  Trendy neighborhoods strike that amazing balance of being upscale enough to not be dangerous, but cheap enough to have cool unique places to visit.  It makes it so much more fun to explore.  I can’t give you tips to try to have your own adventure there because I don’t know the name of this neighborhood.  I will have to ask Jeff and Jeffrey.  A Trendy neighborhood always makes me a little nervous because I am worried about not being cool enough.  Sure, I am super cool, but am I TRENDY cool?  Or scarier still, am I hipster cool?  I would love to be hipster cool but I am just too cheap and lazy.  Unicycles and Monacles take a lot of practice.  Typewriter ribbon and Polaroid film can get pricey.

We had dinner at a hipster pizza place.  I was not worried about this at first.  I know pizza.  FALSE!  This place revealed how much of a country mouse I was, and it was hilarious.  The first sign that I was out of my element was the drink situation.  The super cool waiter informed me that they had no cranberry juice.  I had to quickly navigate the confusing menu and order house brewed rootbeer instead.  This is barely a complaint, because that rootbeer was delicious!  I wasn’t the only one confused by the drinks.  Jeff got a drink with bobas in it.  Bobas are fascinating little creatures, but they taste disgusting.  YES!  I tasted the bobas.  Jeff has talked me into trying so many things.  Most of them have been wonderful.  Bobas are not wonderful, but then again, he didn’t like them either.

The confusing menu also stated that they politely declined any special orders or substitutions.  WHAT?  You can’t tell a picky eater that they must eat one of the specialty pizzas.  I read each description with such care trying to find one that would work.  I ended up ordering a carnivore Detroit style pizza.  There was some stuff in the description I didn’t understand, but I was thinking it was the closest I was going to get.  Turns out it was also DELICIOUS!  Also, it is hilarious that we went to a New York style pizza place in Chicago and ordered Detroit style pizza.  I think that makes us very urban.  Jeff and Jeffrey ordered vegan sausage on their pizza.  This blew my mind!  Who would do such a thing?  Jeffrey got me to try one of them.  Turns out it tasted just like regular sausage.  Who would think that I would ever try vegan anything?

Just when I thought I had the hipster pizza place figured out, I decided to go to the bathroom before we left.  I am an adult and I was sure that using the bathroom could not be at all confusing.  FALSE!  There was a hallway that said restrooms and then there were 4 unmarked doors in the hallway.  I could get past the fact that the restaurant is so woke that all the bathrooms were gender neutral, but I was very confused about the fact that there were 4 and they didn’t at least say “bathroom”.  What if one of the doors lead to the kitchen, or an office?  I just stood there like an idiot for a while before a guy came out of one of the doors and I could tell that it was a stand-alone bathroom.  

We had many more adventures after that.  None of them were as educational as the pizza place, but they were all delightful!

Did you already know how hipster pizza places work because you went there before they were cool?  What is your favorite trendy neighborhood so that I can take people there when they come to visit?  Do you brew your own rootbeer?  There was a club we didn't go to called the slippery slope, and there were no slides in it.  LAME!  Which style of pizza do you prefer: Chicago, New York, Detroit, St. Louis, or Quad City?

What does society want me to do next in my life?

When I turned the age that a teenage girl usually starts to date, everyone started asking me when I was going to get a boyfriend or if I had a boyfriend or telling me I should get a boyfriend.  When I was that age, I would have loved to have a boyfriend, but that was not something that I had total control over.  It would at least take an interested boy.

Eventually, I got a boyfriend.  Once I had been with my boyfriend for a while, everyone loved to ask me when we were going to get married, or if we were going to get married, or tell me that we should get married.  I would have loved to get married, but that was not something totally under my control.  I was not going around throwing engagement rings out windows.  It usually takes two people to get engaged.  It helps if both people are interested in getting married.

Eventually, I got engaged and married.  Once I got married, everyone asked me when I was going to have a baby, or if I was going to have a baby, or told me I should have a baby.  At that point in my life, I would have loved to have a baby.  Not everything happens exactly when you want it to happen.  Some things take a while and you just have to wait for it to work out no matter how painful that is.

Eventually, I had a baby.  Once I had a baby everyone asked about the next one.  I was in the same situation.  Giant EYE ROLL!

Eventually, I had a second baby.  The first baby was a boy and the second baby was a girl so no one asked me about having another baby.  Everyone counted my family as complete.  I don’t remember what awkward questions they were asking me at that point. 

Eventually, I had a third baby.  We are a pretty happy family.  However, everyone has found a new thing to ask us about.  Everyone is asking me when we are getting a dog, or if we are getting a dog, or telling me that we should get a dog.  I didn’t know this was a societal life stage.  A few things have prompted this question.  The babies are now old enough to enjoy animals.  My in laws have an adorable batch of bulldog puppies and we could just take one home.  Several of our friends and family recently got new puppies.  Everyone has dogs on the brain.  Do people do this to people about cats too?  This is something TOTALLY under my control.  I can go get a dog and bring it home whenever I want.  The thing is, I do NOT want a dog.  Dogs require a lot of care.  I am not up to the challenge.  I am also a little afraid of dogs.  I also don’t like it when they pee/poop/drool on me and my stuff.  I might be more of a cat person, since they take care of themselves, but I am allergic to cats and getting one would cause a lot of sinus issues.  It is probable that I am just not an animal person.  I don’t hate them or want to kick them, I just don’t desire to touch them. 

I am SO happy that at this stage in life, people ask me questions about stuff that I do have FULL control over.  I can have a totally normal conversation about this and not walk away sad because I wish that things were different.  I hope that this line of questioning lasts a long time.  There are so many fun things to discuss when it comes to pets.  We can bring up the perks of bee keeping, backyard chickens, and cuddling with baby rabbits.  The whole thing is delightful.  Everyone, keep it up with the dog questions.  I am READY!  OH and I also get to say fun words like labridoodle!

This stage certainly beats the next stage which will probably have something to do with whether or not I should be wearing adult diapers.