A Delightful Disaster

or Rolling Down the River

or A 5 Hour Tour

Last Saturday I went rafting down the Rifle river with my good old friends Karen, Missy, Kayla, and Emily AND my good new friends Nikkie, Erin, Rob, and Kellie. It was definitely delightful, and definitely a disaster. I should have been clued in when the 2-3 hour trip to the river was full of torrential rain. When we got to the Rifle river we all hung out in the small gift shop hoping the rain would go away. There were promises that it was going to clear up later and we were not going to get our deposit back, so we decided to take our chances. We all bought rain suits that seemed to be a great bargain, and we headed out for the river.

My old friends and I were sharing a raft. Nikkie and Erin shared a canoe and Rob and Kellie shared another raft. We had more clues that the trip would be disasterous when the workers barely helped us get our boats in the water and when poor Erin slipped in the mud and completely soiled her favorite capri pants. However, none of that dampened our spirits. We were ready to go and every clue that we should do otherwise was simply met with laughter.

The disaster started when Nikkie and Erin tried to get into their canoe. The poor souls had never been in a canoe before. That combined with the wet weather and mushy river caused them to tip over several times. We decided it would be easier if the two of them came in the raft with me, and Karen and Missy took over the canoe. I was a little nervous about that at first. I wasn't yet good friends with these two new people. My nerves were quickly put to rest because these new friends were wonderful and because we connected the two rafts and the canoe together.

For the first four hours the trip was wonderful. The rain was only heavy once in a while and every now and then it even stopped. We were all in good spirits and laughed at everything from the low durability of the rain suits we bought, to the weather in Wisconsin, to being a fan of rain on facebook, to who knows what else. Everything was hilarious and no one minded that we were kind of going down the river in circles and backwards part of the time. The picture below should be evidence of how hard I was laughing, but really, when I look at it, it looks like I am crying. Believe me, the crying didn't start until the last hour of the trip.





We stupidly signed up for the 5 hour river tour. That tour was about 1 hour too long for me. After 4 hours we thought we were at the end. You are not supposed to bungy the boats together, so we unhooked and everyone went their own way. This would have been fine if we only had 10 minutes left on the river, but it turned out that we had a whole hour left. So, the two children (Kayla and Emily), two of my new friends (Nikkie and Erin) and I were left alone on the river in a raft. All along I was the most experienced rafter, but that wasn't really saying much. Now, I had to use that experience to get us to safety. I don't think that experience did me one lick of good. That last hour was pure misery. We tried to hold onto our good spirits, but the following factors made it impossible:

• We all had to go pee.
• We were all freezing cold.
• The rain started pouring harder than I had ever seen. I think it was a hurricane.
• We couldn't steer at all.
• We kept getting hit in the head by trees.
• We were going down the river in circles.
• We were weak from paddling so hard.
• There were campers along that stretch of the river who were making fun of us for rafting down the river in the rain.

I have never experienced such a long hour. I was sure that there would be no end to the river. I was sure that I was going to have to raise Kayla and Emily myself and that we were going to have to live as river people surviving on the fish (smelt...I got no laughs after my "you smelt it you dealt it" joke) that we could catch with our deteriorating rain suits. I would like to say we got to the end of the river shortly after giving up hope, but we gave up hope long before that and it was a miracle that we ever got off that raft. I have never been so soaking wet in my life. I was wetter than taking a shower or going swimming or anything. It was terrible. We all had extra clothes, but even changing into them was a pain. We all had to fit into a little tiny dirty bug infested bathroom and do our best to clean up. Poor Kellie had to buy a who Rifle River outfit. I have never been so happy to get into a car so I could be warm and dry. We drove from there to Tony's in Birch Run. I was exhausted...evidence below.

We were all literally shivering when we got to Tony's. I don't normally like hot beverages, but when little Emily (cuddling with me in the pic above) ordered hot chocolate, I had to follow suit. It was the best thing I ever drank in my whole life and it really warmed me up. After we all warmed up we recovered our positive attitudes and I had an excellent time chatting and eating and joking with all my new friends.

Karen and Missy asked me if I want to go hiking with them next time. I think the answer is NO. No offense, but I need a little time to forget this last trip into the wilderness.