Sweet love burning on a Saturday Night...

I have been to two BEAUTIFUL weddings this month.  Whenever I attend a wedding, I come away with ideas I didn't have before.  I like to say to my husband, "next time we get married we should..."

• Use gladiolas as our flowers.
• Incorporate more purple.
• Not make the bridesmaids all wear the same dresses.
• Have me dressed in a color other than white
• etc.

One of the weddings we attended included the bride and groom singing a duet.  I added this to the list of things I want to do next time we get married. I didn't recognize the song they sang, so I have been kicking around some alternatives that we could use next time we get married.

• "Whenever I call you friend" by Stevie Nicks and Kenny Loggins.  Con - The song starts out really cheesy and lame.  Pro - Very appropriate theme for a wedding.  Also, at the end it turns very disco.  Imagine our wedding duet turning into a fabulous choreographed disco.  I think we could get our guests to join in as well.
• "Don't go braking my heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee.  Con - Nathan pointed out that this is really more famously done by Elton John and Miss Piggy.  Would I want people to think I looked like Miss Piggy in my second wedding dress?  Also, the song is a little lame.  Pro - Also good for the crowd breaking into a disco.
• "I would do anything for love...but I won't do that." by Meatloaf and some mystery woman.  Con - Most of the song is sung by Meatloaf.  The mystery woman only has a few lines in the "Would you hose me down with holy water, If I get too hot?" section.  This would be a very one sided duet unless we traded off on the rest of the verses.  Pro - This song rocks and I am already really good at singing it and really putting on a show thanks to karaoke.
• "Total Eclipse of the heart" by Bonnie Tyler and some unknown male singer.  Con - this one has the opposite problem of the previous song.  Most of the good parts of the song are sung by the woman.  I guess we would have to trade off on this one as well.  Also, this song doesn't really have a good theme for a wedding ceremony.  Pro - This is another one I am good at in karaoke.
• "I got you babe" by Sonny and Cher.  Con - This song is lame and Nathan claims he doesn't know it.  Pro - The only plus is that the song is pretty even between guy and girl parts.

Thinking of singing these songs in front of a church full of my friends and family got me thinking of one of my other favorite situations that will never happen.  Which of the following songs would you prefer to perform as a solo at church?

• "What if God was one of us" - Joan Osbourne
• "Personal Jesus" - Depeche Mode
• "Like a Prayer" - Madonna

 Can you think of others that would be fun to pass as appropriate, but probably aren't?  One time I was at the store in the music department and an elderly couple came up to me and asked if I could help them find the song that was the theme song of Joan of Arcadia.  The song was, "What if God was one of us."  It just so happens that I really like the song so I sent them in the right direction.  But I wonder what they thought if they purchased the whole album and then realized that it isn't really Christian music.

What would be your favorite song to sing at an inappropriate time and place?

This little piggy went wee wee wee all the way home.

I have big feet and I cannot lie.  

My little children can't deny, 

when their mom walks in with her toes painted pink and a flipflop on her foot

 they go pound, 

and jump on her feet...

My feet seem to be magnets for pain.  It is bad enough that my condition causes a small case of sausage foot, but it seems that all of mankind, especially my immediate family, can't help but stomp on my feet.  They are on the large side.  I wear a 9.5, but they are not the world's biggest feet.  One would think that my protruding belly would block a little of the danger aimed at my feet.  It does block my view of them but that is about it.  So far, just this week, I banged my own toe really hard on a table, the children have stepped on my feet countless times, they dropped a heavy metal chair on my foot (much screaming resulted from that one), and this morning even my husband stepped on my toes.  I have become super protective.  This morning, we attended the hubby's church, and I could barely pay attention.  I was super paranoid that someone was going to drop a kneeler on my foot.  It has happened before, and I was sure that with my recent luck that it would happen today.  I was lucky this morning, but I fear that just means something worse is coming my way.  I have considered wearing my winter boots for protection, but with the injuries I have already received, flip flops seem to be the most comfortable choice.  I did get a pedicure yesterday and I had them paint my toesies with the brightest pink I could find.  If I am lucky, this will serve as a warning that my toes are nearby and people will be able to avoid stepping on them.  I fear the plan will backfire and instead the cuteness will just attract more trouble.

Summer camp, reality vs. TV

I was in choir in high school so OF COURSE I roll my eyes when I watch Glee.  There was no dancing or singing new songs every week when I was in high school.  We had to practice the same songs over and over so we would get good at them.  Now, there is a new show on TV that makes me roll my eyes.  It is called Camp and it is about a summer family camp.

In this show, the camp counselors have a lot of relations with each other and they drink alcohol.  I was a camp counselor for a while when I was in college.  There were no relations with anyone and there was no alcohol.  However, these discrepancies did remind me of one of my more scandalous moments.

While I was a counselor, I would always get a root beer during snack time from the snack store.  A potential gentleman caller happened to work in the snack store and noticed that I always got the same beverage.  One night after the staff meeting, he told me that he had a secret stash of chocolate chip cookies.  I can't pass up chocolate chip cookies or a potential gentleman caller, so I followed this fella to his car where the secret cookie stash was.  A couple other cookie loving counselors joined us.  The potential gentleman caller surprised me with a can of my favorite root beer.  The four of us were standing outside eating chocolate chip cookies and drinking soda pops when the night watchman found us.  He scolded us a little but just sent us back to our cabins.  On the last day of camp, the camp dean called my gentleman caller and one of girls that joined us into her office.  They were in big trouble and told that they could not return to camp.  Nothing happened to me.  Do you know WHY nothing happened to me?  Because besides the gentleman caller, who kindly did not rat me out, no one knew who I was.  This is one of those times when flying under the radar and being unknown is a real advantage. 

At the time I thought they were just in trouble for being outside when they were supposed to be in their cabins.  Later in the summer, I heard a rumor trickle out of camp.  Supposedly, a group of counselors were caught drinking beers outside after hours.  It turns out, THAT WAS ME!  Of course, there were no beers, but I guess that was the impression that the night watchman got.    I was such a rebel and I didn't even realize it.  It was extra scandalous because it was church camp.

Are you impressed by my bad girl image?  Tell me about your scandalous past!