Bunnyville? Should be sucksville!

Last weekend, Easter weekend, the Detroit zoo had record setting attendance. Good Friday set a new record and even Saturday with rainy weather beat the previous record. Sure the weather was great, but I think the reason they had such great attendance was bunnyville. The zoo had planned and advertised all sorts of bunny related festivities. The one that really peaked my interest was "hundreds of bunnies" available for petting.

I am never one to try to attend the hot event of the season. I hate crowds. However, I love bunnies. I had images in my mind of Charles and I cuddling with bunnies and baby chicks. Charles would love them. I would get a ton of adorable pictures of him with little woodland creatures.

My friend Nikki and I took our boys to see bunnyville, Carter and Charles. There was a huge crowd trying to get into the zoo. Charles and I were very lucky. My friend Dale is a member of the zoo, and he met us there and got us in for free and we didn't even have to pay for parking. I was so excited to see the bunnies. That was the only thing on my mind. We bypassed a lot of regular zoo exhibits in pursuit of the bunnies.

Turns out, THERE WERE NO BUNNIES! Hundreds of bunnies were advertised. 25-30 bunnies were brought in. The bunnies had e-coli and the zoo had to get rid of them. I am not sure how a bunny e-coli experience would work. Did the bunnies have the runs? That would be messy even with only a few bunnies. Do they spread e-coli through their bunny droppings? Would the kids have to lick the bunnies? Anyway, there were no bunnies, and there were no animals at the zoo for us to pet at all. Perhaps they all had e-coli.

So, I hereby, call out the Detroit Zoo. Bunnyville was sucksville. Also, they didn't even have the train running on the biggest zoo day ever.

Despite visiting sucksville, everyone had a really good time. The boys enjoyed running around and playing on the playground. They made the most of the fountains and even just the drinking fountain. I was a mess all day from allergies, but it was still a blast to see the boys having so much fun.

Finally, right before the rain came, we headed out. We were completely exhausted. Nikki and Carter got Charles the most adorable stuffed orange penguin to remember his trip. As we walked out of the zoo, "uppy,"Charles said, asking me to pick him up. As I lifted him up, he launched his penguin over the fence into one of the exhibits. Did he want to see the penguin fly, or did he want to set it free? Charles either doesn't understand penguins or zoos. If it had been up to me I would have left the zoo without the stuffed penguin to teach Charles a lesson. The lady behind me didn't think that was an important lesson. She felt bad for Charles and dragged us back to the zoo greeter to see if he could let us into the enclosure to get the penguin. He took us to another person who led us to another person. Luckily, no one let us into the enclosure, but they did get Charles a new penguin. I wouldn't let Charles hold this new penguin.

The boys found the mister/drinking fountain. They loved it. Charles thought the drinking fountain was the best part.


One of the perks was getting bunny faces painted on the kids. I thought that Charles might throw a fit about it, but it turns out he loved it. It was really quite adorable.


There was a huge playground in the middle of the zoo. It was for ages five and up. Carter and Charles paid no attention to that. They LOVED it.


There was a little fountain just outside the penguin exhibit. I think that Charles thought that was why we went there. He thought it was great and the boys enjoyed splashing each other.

So, listen here Detroit Zoo. Sure we had fun, even without your bunnies, but you better straighten up. Next time we might find another zoo.

I don't get out much

OK, I do get out of the house a lot, but I rarely get out to try interesting new adventures. I might declare a midyear resolution to try out more new stuff and adventures.

The first new adventure was the Roller Derby.

I would like to say that I always wanted to attend a Roller Derby my whole life. What is there not to love? A sport with women in crazy outfits on Roller Skates definitely sounds like something I was born to do. The truth is, I never even knew what the Roller Derby was until the last few years. My friend Nikki invited me to attend the Roller Derby with her. She got us tickets to see the Detroit Derby Girls (click here ). I needed to do some research, so Iwatched the movie "Whip It". It was filmed in Michigan, so I felt it would give an accurate portrayal of what I was in for. It made me a little nervous that Punk Rock Guys would fall in love with me and also made me worried about what my outfit would be.

I was going to go with a totally punk rock look for the roller derby, but I reigned it in a bit because my friend Cleo told me I would look like a fool. Maybe I would have. I decided to just look like a chubby Teenager and put on some extra eyeliner.

The Roller Derby was on Saturday and it is located at the Masonic Temple in Downtown Detroit. Saturday night I headed to my friend Nikki's house to make her drive. I avoid driving in Detroit as much as possible. I can't speak for all people from "up north" but to me, everything south of Clarkston is Detroit and I get lost every single time I drive there.

The first adventure of the evening was that Nikki decided to stop at an ATM in Detroit. WHAT? This was a bad idea. We drove all over the ghetto until she finally found a party store with an ATM. I refused to go in with her. She left me in the car and I regretted it when the homeless man who looked like the "Pants on the Ground" guy from American Idol walked toward me. I am not really afraid of homeless people, but I am afraid of Detroit, so I was a little uneasy. Luckily, Nikki returned and we took off. As I looked back I realized the homeless man was wearing awesome jeans with very colorful embroidery all over them.

We finally got to the Masonic Temple and it is a beautiful place. I had never been there, but I thought it was a theater. It is a theater, but it also has a lot of other things going on. The Roller Derby was on the third floor in a very strange room. I couldn't figure out if it used to be a ballroom or a gymnasium. It was too nice to be a gym, but not nice enough to be a ballroom.

In the movie Whip It, the track is banked, there are railings, and there are bleachers. None of that was true for this Roller Derby. It was still really fun to watch, but it was hard to see. Next time we attend, we will get there just as the doors open so we can get the suicide seats. The suicide seats are on the floor right next to the track. You can see everything from there.

Overall, it was a good game and a good time. Detroit beat Pittsburgh 180ish to 150ish. The people watching was amazing (although, it was suburb city in there). Very few punk rock boys fell in love with me and my look fit in just fine. As an extra good note, the snacks and souvenirs were very reasonably priced.

I do have a suggestion for them. I think they should play somewhere with bleachers. It is super cool that they play in Detroit in an awesome old building, but probably two thirds of the people had trouble seeing the bout. I am not sure where they could go to have the same street cred but add bleachers, but it is worth looking into.

Other adventures I might try:

• Zoos

• The library

• Adult roller skating

• Mommy/child events/locations

• Biking

• Cougar Dance Clubs

I have also made a mid year resolution to see my life in terms of Ven diagrams and Flowcharts more often. I believe the Ven Diagram below helps illustrate my social life. I have also included my friend Nikki's social life since it was her idea to go to the Roller derby.

Can you think of any other adventures I should try? Do you have any suggestions for the adventures I already have on my list? Do you want to join us next time we go to the Roller Derby?

Deep in the Heart of Texas

I know two people from Texas and both of them are amazing and super nice.

That said, the media has taught me differently. The media has shown me that all the women in Texas have gigantic hair. They have also taught me that every parent in Texas pushes their child into either Football, Cheerleading, or Beauty Pageants. The children are not just pushed to participate, but to WIN. I would like to officially thank my parents for not pushing me into any of these things.

I think I got a free pass on Football because I am a girl. It is a good thing I got that pass, because I would have been terrible at Football. When I was a Junior in High School I played in the Porker Bowl (the one girl football game) and I was terrible. I also still don't understand the rules despite being married for 5 years to the world's biggest Football Fan.

I think I would have also had trouble with the Cheerleading. Sure, I am loud. That would have helped. I am also good at clapping and shaking pom poms. However, I am terrible at any sort of gymnastics. I took 3 seasons of gymnastics lessons as a kid. The first one wasn't so bad because I was young and I was just the worst one in a group of kids my own age. I would have to spend time in the corner practicing my cartwheels while the other kids got to do other things. I was 13 when I took the other classes. That isn't so bad except that I was still in beginners 1 and most of the other kids were 5-8 years old and much better at gymnastics than I was.

The fact that I was a chubby homely kid would have sealed my fate in texas. I would have looked horendous in a beauty pageant. But I do think I would have been good at the fake smile and pretty feet. I think I could have mastered the little routines and dances. I probably would have enjoyed the make up and stuff. But in the end, they are looking for the prettiest little girl and that wouldn't have been me.

I am in favor of big hair, but the nice thing about living in the North is that my naturally biggish hair is big in comparison to most. If I lived in Texas I would have to put in a lot more work to compete in the big hair department.

How would you fare in Texas? Are you from Texas? Is it really like they depict it on TV? Are there other places that work like this?

Are you German?

Today, during a break in the class I was instructing, a guy asked me if he could ask me a personal question. I got a little nervous, luckily the question was simply, "Are you German?" I told him that I was not, but thanks for asking. He said he was just wondering because I really reminded him of someone who he used to work with. I suppose that person was German.

I have been asked before if I was German. At that time, the person thought that my maiden name, Hocken, sounded German. It isn't, thanks for asking.

Today the question made me wonder if I look German. My new last name isn't even close to German, it is polish. My Stereotype of what Germans look like, is that they are tall and blond. The two Germans that I know are tall and blond. Maybe I AM tall and blond. Sure, I don't think I am, but I could come up with a whole philosophical argument about perception and just because I perceive myself as a 5'2" brunette, that doesn't mean that the rest of the world doesn't see me as a 5'10" blond. In fact, I am now sure that is how the rest of the world sees me. America's next top model, here I come.

Perhaps there is a slim chance that I am not perceived by others as a 5'10" blond. In that case, there is still one way I might be mistaken for German. Just this weekend my Grandma was talking to my two blond cousin in laws about how neat and tidy they are. I think she used the word immaculate. She suggested to the German cousin in law that it was because she was German. According to my Grandma, all Germans are immaculate and that is why Jenny is immaculate. The other immaculate blond cousin is not German. The thought is that she learned to be immaculate from her mother in law of German decent.

This leads me to believe, that people are mistaking me for German because not only am I a 5'10" blond, but I am also very neat and tidy and clean. I must dress very sharply and I must be amazing at cleaning house. Now, I never thought of myself this way, but it is obvious to me now that the confusion is only being caused by my faulty perception of myself.

Why have none of you told me that I am tall, blond, and immaculate? Is it because you figured I already knew? How do you perceive yourself? How do you think others perceive you?

I love cats...

...they taste like chicken.




When I was a kid, I loved cats. I especially loved kittens. I would run through the neighborhood petting and cuddling with all the neighborhood cats. I was delighted when my cousins got new kittens, they were just about the cutest thing I had ever seen.



My mom always knew that I had been out chasing cats. She knew because when I came home my eyes would be red, there would be tears streaming down my face, and I would be covered in snot. All of this because I am allergic to cats. My dad is more allergic than I am. Everytime I got a chance to wish, whether it was a shooting star or a birthday cake full of candles, I always made the same wish.



"I wish for 3 more wishes. Then I wish that I was not allergic to cats, that my dad was not allergic to cats, and that we can get a kitten."

As I got older I avoided cats more and more because I understood the trouble they caused me. Cats also understand the trouble they cause me and they are always able to pick me out of a crowd to come rub against.

Because of all this cat drama in my life, I no longer love them like I once did. I don't hate them, but I don't love them either.

The lady who sits next to me at work LOVES cats. This made it very awkward when two of my coworkers recently stopped by to chat at my desk.

Friend 1 and Friend 2 (I have to protect their identities because I know a lot of you out there are crazy cat people) were at my desk. Friend 1 mentioned how she had to get rid of her dog. She mentioned how she missed him, but her family just couldn't take care of a dog. Friend 2 mentioned how he was about to get rid of his cat. Friend 2 loves animals and has a ton of pets, but his cat was getting very old and was squirting liquid cat poo all over the house. Friend 2 mentioned that he would probably have to put the cat down, and that the cat was currently locked in the basement. The cat was in the basement to avoid further mess and to help with the heart break of when it would eventually be put down.

We probably joked about this a little more than we should have. I realized it had gone too far when the woman who sits next to me got up and left her desk in a huff 3 or 4 times.

After my friends had left, I tried to break the ice by bringing up the cat conversation. She was super pissed and said that she had a few choice words she wanted to share with them, but held herself back because she was at work. I thought maybe we joked a little too much about it, but I didn't think it was that bad. I had no idea what to say. All I could say is, "I have no response to that." Then I turned around and faced my computer again.

Now that I think about it, that response could get me out of a lot of strange situations. Someone says something rude, annoying, or just bizaar...I say, "I have no response to that" and walk away. I love it.

Do you have a good saying to instantly end a conversation? Do you want to share it? Would you have told off my friends for talking about killing their cats? Do you think that cats are very sneaky and definitely go after allergic people because they know they can cause trouble?

Heroes vs. Villians

I don't know if I can do it. My friend Nikki really wants me to, but I don't know if I can watch Survivor - Heroes vs. Villians.

If you don't know what I am talking about, look here: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor/

I missed the first season of Survivor, but since then I have watched all of them except this last one. Sure, there are heroes and villians in each, and sure some seasons are more memorable than others. I really like the heroes. I know people respect the villians for their clever game play, and as long as the villians stick to that, I can appreciate that as well. In fact, many of the villians are down right funny. I love funny.

However, the reason I didn't watch last season, was Russell. I watched two episodes and couldn't stand it anymore. Thursday is a big DVR day, and I found myself dreading watching Survivor because this man did more than just game play. He dumped out water and burned people's socks. That was just mean.

Russell is going to be on Survivor Heroes vs. Villians. So are some of my favorite heroes. Heroes like Colby, James, and especially Rupert. I am sure these fellas can take care of themselves, but I don't know if I can watch some jerk burning the socks of characters I already love. It was hard enough watching him burn the socks of strangers.

Anyway, I will try. If I don't, I will be left out of so many conversations. Plus, maybe my boys will rally to get rid of Russell right at the beginning.

Who is your favorite Survivor? Do you like heroes or villians?

(Feel free to comment "I don't even watch TV" if you want to be smug.)

No one cares what you had for lunch

For Christmas my friend Nikki got a book about blogging. I think she said it was called "No one cares what you had for lunch." The point of the book is that no one wants to know the stupid details of your life, like what you had for lunch. I agree, no one wants to know that for the 100th day in a row I had a plain cheeseburger, a plain taco, or a plain slice of pizza for lunch.

However, I think the activities that surround my lunch might be interesting.

A few weeks ago, as I was driving back to the office after lunch, and I noticed a car in the parking lot had a word written on the windshield in the snow. That word was TURD. This is one of the most hilarious things ever for several reasons.

1. Imagine if it was your car. You go out to it and see that the word Turd is written on it. So many thoughts would run through your head. Is the person saying that I am a turd? Is it an ironic message that I have "turd" on my windshield in the winter when all the birds have flown south? How did they manage to write it so neatly all the way across the windshield? Who was it?
2. Why the word turd? They didn't want to use profanity? Again, was it being ironic?
3. Who took the time to do this? It was in a professional building parking lot.
4. Is it ok if I steal this idea and do it to others? I think this would be good for anyone who parks in two spaces, props up their windshield wipers, or looks at me funny.

During another lunch, my friend Nikki and I scarfed our food so we could make a Target run at lunch. During the Target run she had to pick up some laundry detergent. We walked through the cleaning supply section, and as we got to each new type of cleaner, Nikki stopped, opened the container, and sniffed them.

I looked at her and yelled, "What is wrong with you? Stop this huffing! I cannot support this dangerous habit of yours!"

She looked at me and accused me of sounding just like Mary Margaret (my mom). She reminded me that she had never met my mom, but she was pretty sure that is what she sounds like.

Nikki claims that she was not huffing. She claims she is just very particular about the scent of her cleaning products.

I have seen more than my share of crime dramas. I know huffing when I see it.

What do you think? Is it normal to smell all the cleaning products as you walk through the store? Or do I have to start planning an Intervention and try to find a local rehab clinic?